Disputes about best care practices for ageing parents can arise due to strained family relationships and different perceptions. Ageing parents (elders) may be sensitive to any move to limit their independence, and family members may disagree with proposed family decisions.

In 2008 Helen and John built their dream home on the NSW Coast. They dreamed of early retirement but their assets were a little short so Mary, John’s mother then aged 73 made their dream possible by selling the family home in a country town and contributing $200,000 to their purchase. There was no written agreement and Helen and John registered the property in their names as joint tenants.

In 2008 Helen and John built their dream home on the NSW Coast. They dreamed of early retirement but their assets were a little short so Mary, John’s mother then aged 73 made their dream possible by selling the family home in a country town and contributing $200,000 to their purchase. There was no written agreement and Helen and John registered the property in their names as joint tenants.

At the time of purchase Mary was recently widowed. John’s only sibling, Martha was living and working in South America. Martha was not consulted but it was agreed that Mary would have a home with Helen and John, in a dedicated granny flat.

John said to Mary at that time that upon her death he would pay Martha $100,000. Nothing was documented.

About 10 years later, Martha returned to Australia. She had been injured in a bus accident and was in constant pain and financial stress. She had never married nor had children. She had no ability to work and was homeless. John paid her airfare to return to Australia but she was experiencing depression and her relationship with Helen soured and Helen asked her to leave the home where she had stayed for six months.

Mary wanted to help her daughter but had very little financial resources and was dependent on the pension. Martha was not welcome in the home. Helen and John were unable and unwilling in the circumstances to make further financial contributions to Martha. If the home was sold, all four occupants would be disadvantaged.

Mary, now 84 wanted to maintain her family relationships and her home. She was very distressed and felt unable to brooch her concerns for fear of the likely outfall. She spoke with her priest who referred her to the Elder Mediation Service.

Two mediators met with Mary and subsequently approached John…